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The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships, by John Gottman
Download PDF The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships, by John Gottman
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Review
"John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again. This book shows how the simplest, nearly invisible gestures of care and attention hold the key to successful relationships with those we love and work with."-- William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart"This is the best book on relationships I have ever read -- a truly impressive tour-de-force. John Gottman has discovered the Rosetta Stone of relationships. He has decoded the subtle secrets contained in our moment-to-moment communications. By introducing the simple yet amazingly powerful concept of the "bid," he provides a remarkable set of tools for relationship repair. By the middle of the second chapter you're likely to say to yourself, "Oh, so that's what's happening in my relationship with my partner (or colleague, boss, or sister), and now I know what to do about it."-- Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D.,author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship"The Relationship Cure is another in John Gottman's superb series of books on improving intimate relationships. What distinguishes Gottman's writing from that of other self-help books is that it is based on research findings from his extensive studies. When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work."-- E. Mavis Hetherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia"The Relationship Cure is both profound and practical, based on decades of research and clinical experience. The rich array of self-exploration exercises and guidelines offers a life-changing program for creating more rewarding emotional connections with friends, colleagues, and life partners." -- Shirley P. Glass, ABPP, author of Treating the Trauma of Infidelity"The Relationship Cure is engaging and imaginative. The deceptively simple but powerful concept of the 'emotional bid' reveals ways in which we can connect with significant others in our lives."-- Andrew Christensen, Ph.D., coauthor of Reconcilable Differences"I always expect to learn something from John Gottman, and I have never been disappointed. The Relationship Cure is original, insightful, and immensely helpful. I love the concept of emotional bids. Gottman not only helps the reader recognize how he or she may be short circuiting connection and communication, he gives them very good practical advice, as well as examples of wrong and right ways to deal with even the most aggressive or passive partner interaction." -- Pepper Schwartz, Profesor of Sociology, the University of Washington, Seattle and author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong
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From the Inside Flap
A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones "This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others." Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship "John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again."William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart "When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work." E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia From the country's foremost relationship expert and "New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life--with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: * Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection"* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids
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Product details
Paperback: 336 pages
Publisher: Harmony; Reprint edition (June 25, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780609809532
ISBN-13: 978-0609809532
ASIN: 0609809539
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.7 x 7.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
190 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#2,628 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Ah, John Gottman. Such wonderful research, such terrible titles.Anyway, I already had to return this book to the library so I can only give you my impressions-- as my sister says, "the spaghetti that's stuck to the wall." So here goes:Interactions involve people making "bids" for attention, affection, connection. When we respond successfully to others' bids, we are able to make strong and resilient relationships at home, work, school.When someone makes a bid, you can respond either by turning toward the bid and making that connection, or by turning away from the bid by ignoring it, or by turning against it by turning it into a chance to fight.So simple, right? Like Gottman's other books, the simple information is challenging to assimilate. I had to look at myself and realize how much turning away I do. And although I felt a little like an evil psychological mastermind, when I intentionally made bids and responded by turning toward bids at work-- wow. The sense of camaraderie and connection was palpable within a day or two.So although reading Gottman's wonderfully empirical research can be uncomfortable, his suggestions for successful relationships are marvelously applicable.
really insightful and helpful. This is the third book by Gottman that I have purchased so I was suspicious that it would be a lot of the same material re-worked. It was not! I really appreciate that, unlike most marriage books, the insight is useful for all relationships. I'm only 3 chapters in and it has already been helpful in identifying how I am making 'bids' and how to improve them as well​ as my response to my spouse and children.
This book should be required reading in HS. It can apply to every relationship -not just marriages. I'm even recognizing my dog's emotional "bids" now. I'm so thankful to have read this while my daughter is still a toddler. It can apply to the workplace, parenting, friendships, marriage etc. Great info and a quick read. Read it in two nights.
Thoughtful and insightful. I felt a little psychotic reading it, seeing as you are breaking down human conversation, and your responses to conversation (much of the time while reading) but overall it was very helpful and I learned a great deal. I can already see a difference in how I interact with others and how they respond to me. A must read for someone that is having difficulty connecting with others and are not sure why, or do not have any idea about what to do about it.
Will help your relationships even if your significant other does not read it! Why do I know this? Because the only person you can change is yourself. When you decide to change and if you decide to use the techniques in this book to do so then your relationships have no other choice but to change.... for the better if that is your goal. iI was absolutely blown away by the accuracy of this book and its uses. I found out so many things about my relationship with my husband. I knew it was bad .. but I had no idea how bad or how to fix it. This book gave me exact step by step instructions if you will, to apply into my daily life. . While he or she may be the problem. I can assure you that whatever you are doing as a result of it is most likely not making it better or you wouldn't be looking for this type of book. This takes Dr. Phil's (Oprah Winfrey's friend on tv) advice much further and gives you not only the reasons but the conversations you can have and the things you need to know about each other for change to take place. A true must for couples looking to get married, or recently did get married, or have been married and are looking for the door. Even you happy folks can gain by the knowledge that your doing things right by the book so you don't need to be worried.I have been making changes everyday which are affecting all the people I deal with for the better, even though for me I KNEW he was and still is the problem. LOL!Cream of the crop of relationship books and for the past 20 years, I thought that I had read them all .. This book is better than all of those put together!! Not a quick or fast read. It is more of a study book and a life guide book.
This is a wonderful book that has so many applications to relationships in your life. My husband and I are reading it together and we enjoy talking about the chapters and taking the questionnaires together. Yet it is also worthy of impacting relationships other than the intimate husband/wife one. Lessons from this book can benefit your interactions with your parents, children, friends, and even co-workers.
Awesome book! Not a fan of the name, but only because this is an important read for anyone wanting to consider any relationship in their life, be it employee/employer, siblings, parent/child, lovers, etc. Was a good follow up to Blink by Malcolm Gladwell!
As the title states, my therapist recommended this book to me after helping me realize how much I struggle with developing interpersonal relationships. The idea of bids for communication hit hard and I realized some of the things I did to drive potential friends, colleagues, and romantic partners away. There are a whole host of exercises and activities to perform in this book and while I did not do them I do believe they could help people, specifically people in a romantic relationship.
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